This post came from an idea of an email to my sister-in-law (my husband’s sister) who is coming to Shanghai with her son for a visit in June. I wanted to give her a heads up what it is like here, to sort of prepare her so that the shock would not be too big of a blow to her, whose adult life has only seen a quiet western suburb of Chicago.
During her ten day visit in Shanghai, she will encounter a lot of the “peculiarities” that I describe below. I call them “peculiarities” because they are strange and unusual to a westerner.
With a population of 1.3 billion, the crowded conditions are hard to miss. An old saying in China “people mountain people sea” (人山人海) which means very crowded, describes it all. This requires a fair amount of pushing and shoving to get into any form of public transportation. The good thing is, you may be offered a seat – this is all part of your celebrity status as a foreign guest! At the same time, don’t be surprised if people come up with attempts for a conversation. Their unanimous excuse is that they would like to practice their English with you. This can be very annoying to some foreigners, while others completely enjoy having a conversation with perfect strangers. If you are the private type and find it irritating, or don’t feel like giving out free language lessons, feel free to feign sickness or an inability to speak English. 
The crowdedness is made worse by the ever booming car culture, especially in cities like Beijing and Shanghai. China’s famous bicycle culture no longer prevails while more and more people prefer cars to bicycles. With more private car owners, the problem on the road is also growing. Chinese drivers have a propensity to drive in the middle of the road regardless of lane markers. Coupled with the fact that a yellow light is usually interpreted as a signal to speed up, this makes many intersections very dangerous places.
When sightseeing in tourist spots, it’s quite normal for complete strangers to ask if you would like to pose for a picture with them. After that, you will be showered with raving comments of your good look and fantastic physique – many foreigners are delighted to find they are very handsome or beautiful after coming to China!
Even though Shanghai is a big city with people having more contact with foreigners, the locals still see them as a curiosity and fascination. Foreigners attract a lot of attention, usually in the form of staring, pointing, giggles, endless shouts of “hellos” at you. This is a place to feel like a rock star!
This massive attention, wanted or not, also applies to shopping. When shopping in a supermarket, for example, it is nothing out of the ordinary to be surrounded by strangers who take great interest in the contents of your shopping cart. Lots of smiling and pointing is inevitably part of the exchange but it’s all in good fun. Many Chinese people are not used to seeing foreigners. They are just curious.
The Chinese notion of personal space is very different from the west. An average North American would require more personal space than a Chinese person in a face to face communication and aslo a lineup. This difference in personal space oftentimes creates frustration and is a source of great discomfort for many westerners. Abiding by the North American standards of personal space in a lineup will inevitably result in people assuming that you are not actually waiting in line. The result is the locals cut in front of you without even an “excuse me”.
Chinese popele like to show their affection by commenting on your weight. When I lived in the U.S. and came back to visit my extended family, the first thing they would comment was my weight. Usually it was “You’ve gained some weight.” Many of my expat friends in Shanghai have the same problem. Usually when they return to China from their summer vacations back home, their Chinese ayi (housekeeper) would greet them with “You are fatter” before even saying hello. So the bottom line is if you happen to be a little overweight, expect to hear about it sooner or later. If you are more than a little overweight, you will probably hear about it much more often. My sister-in-law has no weight problem, but she is still going to hear about her perfect weight, “You are not fat, nor skinny!” These comments are by no means meant to be offensive. On the other hand, it is designed to show their affection. It indicates their familiarity with you, like saying, “Hey, old friend. You’ve been gone for a long time. I’ve missed you.” Noticing your waist line changes only means they care about you enough to notice the difference.
Chinese people love to exercise. If you go to a park in an early morning, you will most certainly see people practicing Tai Chi or some other kind of fitness regimen. Traditional Chinese Medicine states that, in the early morning hours, trees emit a great amount of Chi, the mystical life force for any living beings. Doing exercise in close proximity to trees early in the morning enables a person to absorb the excess Chi.
Tai Chi exercise is elegant. But elegance is not all one encounters. In the high heat of the Shanghai summer, if you go out later during the day or somewhere in nature, you will also see some phenomenon that is not too satisfying to your eye: men with their shirts pulled up and their bellies exposed. The theory goes that by aerating their navels, the whole body can cool down and their general health can be improved by absorbing Chi through their exposed bellies. Just wish for a well toned body rather than a flappy sagging drooping one!
To some, running into a topless guy (or almost) is nothing in comparison in terms of the unpleasantry when it comes to spitting. In China, spitting is a way to clean out one’s sinuses and is considered a natural body function beneficial to one’s health and is therefore very common, regardless of where you live, big cities or rural areas. It is usually proceeded by a loud, grating throat-clearing sound. Many foreigners finds it gross, just like Chinese people find it unpleasant to see westerners blow their nose loudly into a handkerchief and then stuff the dirty rag back in their pocket.
One last thing I can think of for this post is the phenomenon of Chinglish (or Chinese English) on public signs, park rules, and T-shirts. Many places do not have English speakers on their staff. However, many people, especially young ones, like a T-shirt with English words, no matter how nonsensical the jumble of words is. That’s how factories mass produce T-shirts and product labels with nonsense English slogans. But come to think of it, it’s no difference from westerners sporting Chinese character tattoos that say ge (个 - which has no actual meaning but is part of a number) or de (的 - it indicates possession, equal in meaning to ‘s) or other meaningless words just because they look hip.
One more thing I want to point out is that, for each and every single generalization made above, there will be a large number of individuals who don’t fit the mold. The idiosyncrasies described that apply only to some are enough to make a culture different from another.
